Being a Muslimah, Uncategorized

Words of A Horrible Hifdh Student

Hifdh – has been a journey for me, a very long journey. Rarely do I speak about it with anyone other than Zawji and very close friends, the only reason being I do not want to corrupt my intentions by any chance. But today I am going to share some facts with all my readers…..with an intention to give hope to those sisters who want to but haven’t started hifdh.

I am trying to memorize Quran since 2010 and am a very very bad Hifdh student. My teacher can testify to it, I am sure. I am in no shape or form able to advise anyone on “how” to do hifdh. I am someone who KNOWS all the good tips bidhnillah, yet rarely implements, if any. I am someone who has given classes to encourage sisters to do hifdh and even compiled a free ebook on the subject. Still a horrible hifdh student with no excuse SubhanALLAH.

I give close to no time to my hifdh, I do bearly 2-3 lines a day and many days I even miss. I am very on and off with my daily readings. Though I want to memorize atleast half a page a day…daily…and do at least half a juzz a day daily reading…that too daily (may Allah help us all aameen).

While life has it’s own ups and downs, I believe I can do better. But while I am not doing better, I also don’t want to give up.

I am very very lucky to have my Ustadha and Zawji. My Ustadha has tried to push me to do more, tried to be strict on me… And now she is just like a gentle mother who isn’t giving up on her lost case kinda child. She encourages me to do better at my hifdh i.e. Atleast have it stronger… She is my reason for still not giving up alhamdulillah (Having a teacher and teacher’s right attitude towards student really makes whole lot difference). She once told me, if you take a break you will never come back… and that’s the reason I don’t want to take break… though the thought crosses my mind many times authoobillah. And as for my Zawji, even after so many years still he hasn’t given up on my hifdh and is paying my hifdh fees every month patiently (may Allah reward him and put barakah in his rizq aameen).

Why am I sharing all this with you guys? Am I just venting for the sake of it? No.

I want to tell you sisters that even if you do a little bit… It is better than doing nothing.

Even if I memorize 4 lines in an entire week, I know if I was to quit I wouldn’t be doing those either. Even if my lesson is weak (no justification, need to get better) it is better to go back again and again and think what it was than to not even have any ayah to think about.

While I am horrible hifdh student, I know that it is because of my constant struggle that atleast few days in a week I open Qur’an and read few words. As a muslimah, I rather die as someone who kept trying till her last breath than not even trying. While many will scare me with the punishments of forgetting Qur’an, I believe those are to encourage me to hold on to my memorization and not to use as a reason to never memorize. As a mother, I want my daughter to see Qur’an being read in house daily (in sha Allah) and trust me I know it would have been close to impossible as a mother if it was not for my hifdh classes.

Some times we get too busy in our day to day lives…and as stay at home moms many times we don’t even have a circle of sisters who could keep us going with our ibadahs.

So for me personally, my being horrible hifdh student has at least kept me in touch with Qur’an in some way as opposed to if I was not even a hifdh student. And that is the reason I would encourage all my beloved sisters in Islam to start Hifdh, even if it be 1 line in an entire week.

To access the free e-book compiled by me click here: Recite And Ascend.

Keep me in du’as 🙂

 

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15 thoughts on “Words of A Horrible Hifdh Student”

  1. Don’t beat yourself up you’re trying & that’s more than some! It’s hard but you’ve gotta keep at it & my mum always said “God loves a tryer!” Plus, You know you get more reward for struggling to read Quran so don’t give up! Think of the benefits for the akhira insha’Allah may Allah make us all knowledgeable Ameen

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  2. Masha Allah ❤ May Allah help you in this. At least you are trying & Insha Allah you will be able to memorize it easily. Thank you for sharing this!

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  3. It’s so good that you at least haven’t given up. All of this time that you have spent learning the Quran is being written under the ibadah section. I also wanted to hifdh and I hope that one day I manage to learn at least one juz inshaa Allah.

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  4. Thank you for the wonderful thought…..According to me…there is nothing like bad or good student when you are trying to memorize the holy Quran….keep up the spirit…InshaAllah one day you will gain success…

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  5. Doing hifdh Has been on my to do list since long and to be honest I have done nothing much about it. Each year I resolve to memorize at least a few surahs but then it never happens. After reading your journey and struggles I am determined to get serious about it and I am going for some classes or hire a tutor. May Allah reward you for your efforts because the deeds that are small yet consistent are the ones that are most loved by Him.

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    1. I am glad this post was helpful in some way. I highly encourage you to start under a teacher ASAP, it is very easy to loose track or get lazy if we don’t have a teacher.

      My teacher is Sr. Marwa Qaderi, student of Sh. Uthman Khan (who knows all recitations of Qur’an ma sha ALLAH) – Check their website if interested https://qsi1.com/ 🙂

      Aameen to your dua 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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