Being a Mother, Uncategorized

Mamas Forgive Yourself

Forgive yourself oh mamas,

From A Mama to Mamas.

There are times, and there will be even more times, when you will be late on many tasks, you will mess up a lot, and you will not be able to achieve anything – at that moment let your perfectionist self forgive you.

Because if you don’t let your perfectionist self forgive you, then you will end up having resentment towards the time that you spend with your children…thinking you could have used it somewhere better. Well, no…if you spent your time with your children then there is nothing better you could have done with that time other than ibadah (which can also be done with kids).

No matter what your goals or ambitions are, don’t let them convince you that you are wasting your life. You are not. You are investing your life. You may achieve same goals in 24 or 34 years of age…it wouldn’t make much difference, other than the fact that you will be more wise and experienced in 34 than 24. But, the early years of your children’s lives will never come back. Once they are in their 15s they wouldn’t sit on your lap and ask you to read a book to them. Cherish these moments.

The goals and tasks that seem so important, don’t stress over them. If you are able to achieve those without killing the mother within you, then go ahead but don’t let them deprive you of enjoying your journey of motherhood. No matter what the tasks or goals are, dish-washing or becoming an author.

Also…

Forgive yourself for being selfish; for that long nap that you took while your child cried and went back to sleep, for that food that you first put in your mouth than your child’s, and for other such selfish moments.

Realize that some times we have to be selfish to be able to give back to our children. Some times we are empty and we need to fill ourselves to give to our children a mother they need.

Any of us sane mother wouldn’t leave her child crying when she is able to go and fulfill his/her need. But there are moments we are just helpless dead bodies on bed who may wake up on a cry but cannot get up. Many times we are so hungry that we are falling on the floor and in those times we need to first feed ourselves to be able to feed our children. So forgive yourself for those selfish moments.

Last but not least….

Forgive yourself for not being a perfect mother at times. Because trust me, you are the best mother your children could ever have.

No other has right to judge you and no other has authority to forgive you (obviously referring to humans only). Only you have the luxury to forgive yourself and let go of the guilt that many times haunts us as mothers.

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7 thoughts on “Mamas Forgive Yourself”

  1. I feel like being a mother, or parent in general, necessitates that you learn to forgive yourself or you’ll never learn to move on and learn from your mistakes. There’s no perfect parenting manual and I don;t think it would work anyway lol. Motherhood is a journey and a perpetual on the job learning activity. That in itself means that we can’t expect perfection all the time

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  2. Very true. The indifference of woman in general and mothers, in particular, are so common nowadays. As you said we eventually try to pour out of empty vessels. Being a doctor myself, I very much understand why the women patients line keeps growing in the health clinics. If only if they realize it sooner. Well written sister.

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  3. I haven’t yet experienced motherhood but i can surely say by looking around at nothers ariund me that they always try their best to please and fulfill every single job or responsibility they have. This post is essential for those nothers and children as well to take a breathe out and take it easy. Everything will fall in place by Allah’s will. Beautiful post sis!

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  4. This is just what every mother needs to read. So often, I come across perfect moms sad about having not achieved much professionally. And, I see several working moms sad about not able to spend enough time with children.

    Life would be much easier if could learn to forgive our short comings.

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  5. Very well said!

    Totally agree with this: Forgive yourself for not being a perfect mother at times. Because trust me, you are the best mother your children could ever have.

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  6. Totally agree. No one has the right to judge you and nobody has the authority to forgive you, except Allah. Mothers are blessed, already. Well written post. 🙂

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